Introduction
In recent years, most dating apps have shifted to a visual, swipe driven approach to matching people. So everyone tends to focus on their profile photos to try and capture attention and hopefully get a like, right swipe or whatever the app uses to signify interest. This does however lead to trends and “types” of profiles. I’ve seen many thousands of profiles at this point, and I’ve started building a list of the types I’ve encountered most frequently. Keep in mind I only see a certain type of profile (being a heterosexual male, my preference is to see only heterosexual female profiles), so this list is limited to those type of profiles. I’m sure similar trends exist in other types of profiles as well (yes, we’ve all heard of the fish photos, the drugged tiger photos and more) but having not seen them myself, I can’t really comment on them, let alone why they may or may not be a good idea.
The “Top Down” profile
These profiles tend to feature photos taken in the form of a selfie from somewhere above the head, usually angled downwards at a steep angle. As far as I can tell this is common mostly to those who are uncomfortable about their body shape and instead want to draw focus away from whatever features they don’t like. These often go with extreme zoomed face photos, again for the same reason. Whatever the motivation, these types of photos can be unhelpful on a profile because the assumption can be that these hidden or disguised features are unattractive, irrespective of reality.
The “Anything but me” profile
These profiles feature photos of anything… Except the person who actually created the profile. Typical photos might be landscapes, plates of food, maybe even a car or flowers. I do not have any clear understanding as to why people would exclusively put photos of anything other than themselves on a dating app, so I can only assume they are either really shy, or not who they claim to be. Either way, these sorts of profiles are an instant red flag for a whole series of reasons, and in any case I am not interested in seeing random photos of everyday objects, I want to know who exactly I’m talking to!
The “Anything but my face” profile
These are quite similar to the “Anything but me” profile, except unlike those, they actually involve a photo of a person. However, that person has often posed themselves or placed their hands such that you can’t actually see their face. Again, I can only assume this is some sort of shyness or cultural difference as it seems to be most common with specific cultural groups (mostly from southeast asia). Given in reality most people will spend quite some time looking at the face of someone they’re interested in, it seems a bit odd to hide the face in these photos. You’re hiding one of your best features!
The “Photos with friends” profile
Having friends is great, but when every single photo on a profile has multiple people in it, it can be quite a bit of effort to figure out exactly who the profile belongs to. The default approach many men will take in these cases is to either move on and not bother, or simply assume that the profile belongs to whoever is (in their opinion) the least attractive of the group of friends. In my case, I usually flip through as many photos on such profiles as I can to try and figure out who is appearing in all of them, but in some cases I’ve found ones where it is always the same group of friends. Why can this be a negative? When I’m deciding whether I want to like or dismiss another profile, I generally want to know who I’d be interacting with.
The “I’m not on here much, follow my insta” profile
Ugh. No. Firstly, I don’t care for any of the “influencer” trends, especially on Instagram, and second of all it just screams at a complete lack of interest or investment in the process of dating. You’re little more than just another random follower in a legion of many, little more than a means to an end (namely to feel popular). In many cases such advertising is technically against the Terms of Service of the app anyway. If you’re going to set up a dating profile, dedicate the time to actually use it rather than trying to just funnel people to you.
The “Obvious bot” profile
These often use photos of public figures, or are just borderline (or outright) pornographic photos with directions to visit a website somewhere for more. These ones annoy me sufficiently that I’ll actively report them whenever I encounter them. The other type of obvious bots or scammers are the ones who immediately on matching will attempt to get you to use a different service, such as whatsapp or signal before even trying to get to know you.
The “Nothing but blur” profile
These profiles tend to consist of badly photographed people. Whether deliberate or accidental, these photos are blurry, poorly framed or taken in extremely low or bright light to the point that the subject can be barely recognisable. In some cases it might be a blurry photo of a wall, carpet or the ceiling even. In all cases, I generally consider these profiles to be low effort or deceptive, or not even there for the purpose of dating. I suspect some might have been created by people aiming to see if their existing significant other has “strayed”. Whatever the reason for it, such profiles are similar to the “Anything but me” profiles in that they don’t let me see who I’d be talking to.
The “My kids are my world” profile
Fair enough, pretty much every parent I know loves their kids more than anything or anyone. However, if you are a single parent seeking a relationship, saying this or the extended version “my kids are my world and will always come first” doesn’t necessarily send the right message. Instead of showing that you’re a caring parent, what you’re actually saying is that anyone you date will always be low on the list of your priorities. This one is well worth rephrasing if you have it on your profile.
The “Horse girl” profile
Ok. So this one is a bit more specific than the others, but there is an unfortunate trope when it comes to girls who are into horses. Rather than it being a healthy interest or hobby, the stereotype is of someone who is overly obsessed with them, and in some cases socially awkward. This might work for some people, but for others it is a bit of a red flag that there might be some difficulties in getting to anything that isn’t horse related. Other negative views might be that horses are a major commitment (both in terms of time and cost) as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a horse girl (everyone has their thing in life), but it may mean you get a skewed selection of potential matches.
The “Unrealistic expectations” profile
I’m not quite sure what these profiles are aiming to achieve. They typically demonstrate toxic traits and a lack of any type of balance in any future relationship, while suggesting to any potential men that drama levels will be as high as the expense. From my perspective I see the owners of these sorts of profiles as being either insecure, narcissistic or prone to mind games and manipulative behaviour, none of which are good things. Maybe some men go for this, but it absolutely isn’t any way to build a healthy relationship. The lesser version of this is where preferences are stretched somewhat. We all have our preferences for what we find attractive in others, but if you’re after the unattainable (or conversely, traits which are in very high demand) then you will invariably end up with a poor dating experience unless you have those same traits yourself.
The “Single photo, no bio” profile
These are pretty simple. One photo (maybe even of a person) and absolutely no bio or other information to work with. As far as I’ve heard and seen, this isn’t gender specific and men, women and everyone in between do this. All it suggests to me is that such profiles are extremely low effort, and any dating experience with such people will be similarly low effort and boring on their part. Furthermore it means there is absolutely no way to start an effective conversation, as there is nothing to work from. When I read a bio, I try and pick out things I could use as a topic for discussion, so the less content there is, the less I have to work with. What will you get instead? A “hey, how are you” message.
The “Oddly written inspirational quote” profile
These used to be far more common, but seem to have reduced over time. I suspect they were either bots trying to look human (and failing miserably) or were non-english speaking people trying to find something to put in their bio when in an english speaking country. The third option is that it is people trying (and failing) to sound deep and intellectual. If you really want to do that, talk about the things you like discussing and doing instead.
The “Tourist” profile
These ones are pretty variable, and I actually have absolutely no problem with them because they make their intentions clear. That said, asking random people to show you around (presumably for free or very cheap) can be a bit off-putting.
The “Improving my english” profile
Similar to the “Tourist” profile, but nearly entirely for students who are around for a longer period of time, usually a year or two. I personally find these ones hard to navigate purely because of the language barrier, however unlike many others, the people aiming to improve their knowledge of the local language are actually likely to put in the effort to talk. This can be a very welcome change!
The “Armpit hair” profile
Uhh. Yeah I have absolutely no idea why this is a thing. It isn’t a euphemism, these profiles literally feature a photo of someone showing off their armpit hair, often in some sort of pose. Whatever the reason might be for doing it, I find it completely weird and off-putting. Plus it always reminds me of Krumm from “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters”
The “Taken at a distance” profile
I put these in a very similar category to the “Anything but me” and “Anything but my face” photos. The main difference is that usually the whole person is visible, if you squint and somehow manage to zoom in a long way. Remember, the point of a dating profile isn’t to show off lovely landscape photos that just happen to have you in it somewhere, the point is to show yourself to other people who hopefully find you attractive.
The “Macchu Picchu” profile (or as I call it, the white plastic horse profile)
This is more a description of a particular type of profile, where there is a photo looking down over Machu Picchu, or in my case, of one or more people either standing by or sitting on a particular white plastic horse or unicorn. The specifics of the photo aren’t actually what is important, rather it is the incredibly large number of different profiles, all with different pictures of the same place. After a while you begin to notice the location is identical and it actually draws attention away from any of the people in the photo. On top of that, it makes it incredibly easy to subconsciously just assume the profile is the same as the hundred others you’ve already seen and swiped past already.
The “Nothing but emojis” profile
Rather than using text to describe things, people use emojis. It actually makes a lot of sense on dating profiles that are space constrained, but it can become a problem when there is literally nothing other than a group of emojis and nothing to put them in context. In particular, country flags are a fun one… With no other text to qualify their usage, they could mean the person is from that country, has visited that country, that they or their family are from those countries or any other number of things. Same goes for activity or emojis of multiple people. What does it mean exactly? The only one who really knows is the person who put them there.
The “Borderline Alcoholic” profile
These may or may not have an actual bio, but one of the defining features of such profiles is that no matter how many photos they have, every single one seems to feature alcohol. Often they’re photos taken with friends at events or alcohol related venues such as wineries and bars or other party venues. While the intent seems to be to show that the person is fun and social, when you get six or more photos in a row where alcohol is more easily recognised than the person the profile is meant to be for, the impression ends up being more about whether or not they have a drinking problem! Given the social problems that can eventuate from excessive alcohol consumption, this often ends up being a bit of a red flag.